Fantasy Advice

Fantasy Gear Grinders

By April 25, 2014 No Comments

In a general matter, everyone has their share of pet peeves. Whether it be poor spelling, the over use of the word "like", the Chicago Bears, not putting a new roll of toilet paper on the toilet paper holder but placing it on top of the empty roll,  or whatever it may be. It is just the same in Fantasy Football. The few that I'm about to talk about really grind my gears and you might be able to relate.

ATTENDANCE

The first day of your fantasy season should be treated as if it is the first day of school or work. This is the most important day of the year and this is your first impression. In fantasy, honestly, what is more exciting than Draft Day?! This is where (if you do it right), you gather around with the rest of your league for the next several hours, strategize, BS with your friends, drink, and draft a team that you will rosterbate to for the rest of the night.

For those who do not know the definition of "rosterbate," it is a verb and it is the act of admiring the most amazing and most awesome team that you had just drafted and envision destroying each and everyone of your lame opponents week after week without any mercy until they all cry like a bunch of cry babies.

Rosterbating is just about as important as the simple act of drafting.  Once the draft is over, you and everyone else in the league sits around the draft board and rosterbates. You talk about how you feel about each person's draft picks, how they did overall, what you would have done differently, and of course drink more beer.

Getting to my point, these are the reasons why it is so important to be present during the draft. One, look at everything you miss if you're not there, it's too great of a time.  Two, it sets the tone for the rest of the year with your league.

Believe me, if you don't show up to the draft, your league mates will make sure you know about it for the rest of the year. Especially if you decide to skip out and go to an EDM concert...lame. Now of course there are exceptions such as: if you live so far that the trip would not be drivable, family emergencies, and yeah...that's about it.

Quick advice: Just go to the draft, have an awesome time, and it will be one less gear you grind.

DO YOUR HOMEWORK

I take pride in the hard work I put in prior to the fantasy season. I listen to podcasts, read articles, look at player rankings from all of the fantasy experts, study player's end results from the year prior, and yes I am that guy that even buys the magazines.

But why not? I love reading all of the different opinions and whom likes and dislikes whom. It gives me more scenarios and strategies to play off of--and it is just interesting to read.

Now, one does not have to go to this extent--but for god's sake, don't show up to the draft with just a fantasy football app on your iPhone. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying don't use it as a reference, especially if your newer to fantasy football. But when you have experience and you still show up with just an app on your phone, you deserve to sit at the kiddie table while the rest of the real men and/or women sit by the board and do it right.  At least have the dignity to take the time out and scratch your personal rankings on a napkin before showing up! Taking too much time to make your next pick might be just as irritating.

It is understandable if  it happens once or twice when your are put in a tight bind because you just really have no clue on who you want to pick next. But the matter of the fact is that you have, for the most part, 9 to 11 league mates that are up on the board  before you have to make your next pick. This is ample time to gather thoughts on generally whom you'd like to take.

Yes, the chance of that player being picked will happen before you're up, but this is why do your homework and have back up plans. Now, my draft picks might not be on point, but I at least have 5 different players ready in case one gets picked before me. By the time I'm up, I know exactly who I want and confidently draft the player--whether it was a good draft or not.

Don't be refreshing your app or scrapping through someone else's pro rankings or magazines that they brought. Yet again, you lose respect from your league and you will definitely be made fun of.

Quick Advice: Whether it's listening to a podcast or simply looking up position rankings, be prepared and bring your own notes and it will be one less gear you grind.

TEAM MAINTENANCE

Just because one of your players is on a bye, that does not mean that you are.  I'm sure some of you that are reading this has that one guy or two that are just known to start a player  that has a bye that week or is inactive.

If you are reading this and you are that guy, well, DON'T BE THAT GUY! ACT LIKE YOU'VE BEEN THERE BEFORE BRO!  I apologize for the large text, but this is most definitely a major gear grinder.  As stated earlier, when in a competitive fantasy league, it is important to do your homework and be prepared.  One has all week to check their line up and see if a player has a bye week/inactive.

Granted that, yes, there are those game time decisions that gives you less of a window to make changes--but for the most part there is no excuse. A rule should be placed in all leagues that if a league mate leaves a player that is on their bye week or inactive in the lineup, they get a slap to the face by each and every member in the league.  I guarantee it will fix the problem and no one will do it again.  Blake and Joe, I hope you are reading this. Walshy, we should place this rule in our league. #genius

Quick advice: Don't be that guy to play an inactive player, it will be one less gear you grind.

THE DRAMA OF COMMERCE

The act of trading is an essence to fantasy football and possibly vital to becoming league champion of the season. But just because it is important doesn't mean that it is not a pain in the ass.

The first obstacle is finding whom you want to make a trade with and whom you are trading for.  The anxiety becomes overwhelming, "Do I really want to make this trade?" "Is this the right trade?" "Am I getting the value that I'm giving away?" "What if I trade for him and he gets hurt?" Just the anxiety of trading can be a peeve.

The constant double guessing yourself makes one want to rip their hair out. But this vexation is no comparison to the irritating text you receive from a member--or both of the members involved in the trade-- stating, "Hey guys, we would appreciate if you all vote against our trade, it looks like we do not want to go through with it." What?! No! No Indian Giving! Man up. You both agreed on the trade, deal with it.

This is why I am truly grateful that in our league, League Awesome, we decided to get rid of the option of the entire league voting on a trade.  Not only is it exasperating to receive that text, but it is just as annoying to have a trade that you and your league mate both came to terms with, get voted down. Votes should not be tampered with, once it is accepted--you should only be able to go forward from there.

Trade rape. Lol. There really is no annoyance to trade rape, unless you are on the receiving end of it--but that you brought upon yourself, and again you should've done your homework.  Now just like in some of my leagues, I'm sure many have that one guy that at least gets trade raped once per season.

The only gear grinder I have with trade raping is, once the runt of your league gets trade raped, it is almost impossible to trade with them for the rest of the season.  Now I understand their reasoning for being paranoid, but when you turn down a logical trade, and then they go off the next week and do another dumb trade--it just makes you want to call them up and slap you through the phone!

Quick Fantasy Advice

Get rid of trade votes and be wise with trades or you might be the one whose been tricked into getting your panties pulled down and trade raped-- it will be one less gear you grind.

Don Christmann

Don Christmann

Sr. Fantasy Analyst at Let's Talk Fantasy Football
My name is Don, I grow a mustache every Movember, Nike's on my feet keep my cypher complete, I save lives by renting cars, and I'd take a trophy in my fantasy league's over $500 million.
Don Christmann